Some Assembly Required

If there is one thing that we’ve learned as new, soon-to-be parents, it’s that babies need stuff.  Lots of stuff.  As tote boxes of our stuff go out the door (and into storage in friends basements and family members garages across the metro area), twice the amount of baby stuff comes in.  Clothes, diapers, diaper bags, bouncy seats, car seats, high chairs, just to name a few.  And those are just the essentials; we haven’t  even gotten the toys yet.

Yes, our foray into parenthood has gone full-bore in weeks of late.  The house is undergoing a total makeover…the guest bathroom was treated to a new coat of paint, and spare room has been transformed into a full-blow nursery.  The cupboards have been cleaned out; gone are the mismatched Tupperware bowls and lids, gone are the plastic cups adorned with logos of colleges and favorite burger joints.  In their place sits bottles, baby bottle cleaners, baby bowls, baby cups, baby spoons…

Baby, baby, baby!

Strange as it may seem…the bigger the baby item, the smaller the box.  Open it up and one may become quickly overwhelmed by an avalanche of wood, screws, washers, bolts, and hex keys.   I could be wrong, but I think manufacturers of baby and infant products are just testing the mettle of us parents-to-be.  Making sure we have what it takes by being able to properly assemble this jumbled pile of particle board and metal screws and transforming them into something usable, like a changing table.  Or a crib.

Ah, the crib…one of the most important items in the nursery.  And to think, we’ll eventually need three…but that is beside the point.  At a baby shower held for Missy this past weekend, she (we) actually received one of these said cribs from our Target baby registry…which is completely awesome, and totally unexpected.  But from the time we opened the box, we noticed a few things were a little…off…

…or not even there at all.  Like the assembly instructions.  Or…

…the fact that the hardware showed up in a ratty Ziplock freezer bag…

…and dowel-rods already installed…

in the wrong freaking places!  Where we can’t get it out to do it the right way!

Back in the box the crib went.  It will be returned this weekend, and exchanged for a new one.  It’s not that I mind that the crib was returned and resold to us…it’s just the lack of quality control that has us peeved.  I think we’re going to return a used diaper in a few months, but make sure that it’s in a sealed Huggies package or something.  Yeah…that’ll show ’em…

*Meh*…  ok, so probably not.  I’m sure God is just preparing our hearts and minds now for the challenges and adventures we’re sure to face in the coming months and years!

Has anyone else experienced this?  Tell me about it!

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About Tom Hardinge

Loving husband to my wife Missy, loving father to my four daughters Sienna, Rowan, Jovie, and Lola. I'm a chronic over-packer who loves good coffee, good music, running, waffle tee's, fleece pants, and Jesus Christ!

4 thoughts on “Some Assembly Required

  1. Oh, Tom, you write so eloquently. It’s really very endearing, but, we feel your pain, all the same. It reminds me of your Dad’s blog about our trip. Keep up the good work. That’s our Eagle Scout!

  2. When I was little I wanted this roller skating doll SO badly, and I got it for Christmas. But I was really sad when I started to play with her and realized it was broken. So back to the store it went. The details are fuzzy as to how this happened exactly, but somehow we went to pick out a new one later that same day or something, and my mom just happened to open the box to be sure this doll was not broken, and we found the EXACT SAME ONE. We TOLD them it was broken when we returned it, yet back on the shelf it went. Shady, I say….

    • Cassie that IS shady. Don’t worry though…we got it taken care of! Target was really good about it, but I really hope they didn’t restock the original crib we returned.

  3. Pingback: Out Like a Lion | living in pursuit

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