Can I be honest with you for a few minutes?
Sometimes…I feel like people forget about Lola.
Maybe forget isn’t the right word. But sometimes I feel like she’s invisible.
It’s happened more times than we can count. Whenever Missy and I take the kids out in public, whether it’s to Target, the grocery store, or even just to the park, we’re swamped with the same questions:
- Are they triplets?
- How old are they?
- Are they identical?
Of course, “they” are always Sienna, Rowan, and Jovie. Meanwhile, Lola (usually playing in her car seat or strapped to us via Baby Bjorn or Moby…)
…stares quietly without even getting a second glance. Smiling happily, not knowing or caring about the attention her sisters command.
It’s not that I’m upset about this…we love to talk and tell people about all our children (obviously), and having triplets has been a huge blessing…but I can’t help but wonder how this will all play out years down the road. By no fault of her own, Lola will always be known as “the triplet’s sister.” She will always be the plus one. She will always be the after thought.
And it breaks me apart. But the problem is that I don’t know what we do about it. Do we have another baby so that Lola has a younger playmate?? Do we talk to friends and future teachers and ask them not to bring it up? What if it turns out that it’s something that she’s proud of?
So maybe I’m just overreacting. Over thinking the whole situation because it’s late and I’m exhausted. But I’d like to know your thoughts. Are there siblings of multiples out there that have ever gone through this? If so, I’d love to hear your two cents. Are we setting her up for a psychological breakdown ten years from now?
I hope not, because Lola is amazing. She has a smile that would melt even the coldest iceberg heart, and cheeks that are chapped from our constant barrage of kisses (they’re just too chubby not to smooch!).
We just want each of our girls to know that they are valued and loved as individuals; we don’t want Lola to feel less deserving of attention, or ever feel left out, just because she didn’t share the womb with three other babies.