Missy’s Monday Musings: To My Tommy.

Where to begin.

Today you turn 29.  You may feel like you are turning 40 due to our crazy life, but it is just 29.  I have only gotten to be part of your life for the last 10 of those, married for 6, with 4 children joining us in the last 2 1/2 of those.  But enough with the numbers, I just want to talk about you.

There isn’t a week that passes that I don’t think, “How did I get this lucky?”.  Not only do I have four beautiful, amazing daughters, but I am married to the most wonderful man God could have ever placed in my life.

Now we both know that our life together hasn’t been an easy one.  From “dating” 1,000 miles away for 3 1/2 years, to having three daughters all at once and then adding another, to say we are an unbreakable team is an understatement.  I don’t want you to think for one minute that I don’t know that some husbands don’t change dirty diapers, do the laundry, or write a family blog.  I see all of it.  And I appreciate it.

To me, appreciation is one of the greatest forms of love.  So, I would like you to have this list of all the things I appreciate about you that might go unsaid or unheard in the tornado of tea parties and play-doh that goes on at our house.  When you might be having a rough day, and I pass out at 8:30 covered in leaking breastmilk and whatever the girls ate for supper, I want you to come back to this and know that I appreciate all that you do.

-I appreciate that when you get home from work, you scoop up all four children instantly and take them to play without even changing your clothes because you know without a word being said that I need a kidless-30-minute-break to make dinner in silence.

-I appreciate that you moved to Iowa.  I know how it breaks your heart to be away from your family in Maryland.  It breaks my heart too.  We both grew up in a slew of cousins and aunts and uncles and we want nothing less for our girls, but we had to make a choice.  That choice pulled you away from everything familiar.  But, we built a new familiar here and I just want you to know that not a day goes by that I don’t I think about the sacrifice that not only you made, but your family as well, and I appreciate it.

-I appreciate that you do our laundry.  AND hang it up.  Whoa.  Who needs some book called “50 Shades of Grey?”. 😉

-I appreciate that I never have to ask you to clean up or do the dishes, etc.  You just do it because it needs done.  That says a lot about you.

-I appreciate that you put thought into everything.  I know I tease you sometimes about overthinking things, but I really love the fact that you research the right things for our family and you take time to make or get me the most wonderful and amazing gifts instead of picking up a necklace at the mall on your way home from work.

-I appreciate that you thank me on a weekly basis for staying home to raise our girls.  You and I agree that being a stay-at-home parent is the hardest job on earth and if more spouses would acknowledge and give thanks to said stay-at-home-parent, the world would be a much better place.

-I appreciate your encouragement.  Whenever I need a boost in life, you are my personal cheerleader.

-I appreciate that you read books to our children using all the right voices.

-I appreciate that you go to work each day to support our family.  We both may have to work two jobs eventually…prom dresses…cars…dance…college…weddings…wow.

-I appreciate that you tell me I look beautiful with all sincereity even when  neither of us can remember when I showered last and I have been wearing the same clothes for at least three days.

-I appreciate your sentimental heart.  You take in every experience and remember it with such fondness.  Our girls are going to need that.  A Daddy with a soft heart when their &*^%$ of a mom won’t let them do ANYTHING. 🙂

-I appreciate that you “kick” me out of the house to have some alone time while you stay home with 3 two-year-olds and a baby.  On bath night.  During the teething.  With 3 heads of tangly hair.  Ummm Hello.  Some guys don’t feel comfortable staying home with two or three kids on their own.  You rock.

-I appreciate that you take time to kiss each of us goodbye and hello every.single.day.

-I appreciate you.  I appreciate all things said here and those left unsaid.  I appreciate that you love us and take care of us and ask for nothing in return.  I don’t know what I or we would do without you.

(Oh…and I, and probably everyone else, appreciate that YOU write this blog, because my entires are always lists.)

Will you please leave a comment about a favorite memory or what comes to mind when you think of Tommy!!  I know it would make his day!


24 thoughts on “Missy’s Monday Musings: To My Tommy.

  1. I picked the wrong day to read this, because I have now cried THREE times already this morning. So thanks for that…

    Your strong marriage is an example for all of us who know you. We love you both and thank you for (somehow) finding the time to share your lives with us online + in person. S, R, J and L are so very lucky to have both of you.

    Happy birthday, Tommy! I hope jury duty treats you well.

    P.S. That last picture is all kinds of awesome!

  2. Missy, you summed it up. It’s Tommy’s sentimental and caring heart that makes me like him so much. And he’s an un-ashamed hugger.

    Favorite memory: Bro’s day last year. Fantastic all the way around: Biking, swimming pool, grilling man food over an open fire, great conversation.

    Happy birthday Tommy boy!

  3. I appreciate and am thankful that Tommy lived with our family, not even engaged, on and off from the time I was a 6th grader, through my puberty/teen angst. Not a lot of men would live through that and still be so loving towards a little sister-in-law. Also for teaching me to love Lord of The Rings through endless extended edition marathons, letting me join in even when I had to go to ballet on a saturday morning!

  4. Missy, Wow! What an awesome hubby you have. It sounds like you two truly are an unbreakable team. Your sweet post had me on the verge of tears. Lists and all 🙂

    Tommy, Happy birthday!!!!! I am so thankful for your friendship with Jonathan…even if all the kids keep us all from staying in touch often. I know he appreciates the times you guys are able to reach each other and catch back up. I also appreciate the way you treat Missy and the four other beautiful girls in your life. I think all women can appreciate you for that! I hope your day is unforgettable…in a good way!

    We love you guys and hope to see you again soon!

  5. Dearest Tommy, I am so thank-ful to have you as a second son, husband to my daughter, and father to my granddaughters. You are everything a mother could ask for!!! Best memory was the look on your face at Thanksgiving when you proposed and she said “yes”! Here’s to 29 more years of joyous adventure in Iowa!

  6. Hey Tommy! Have a wonderful day with your beautiful family! God bless you all and may you have many many more terrific birthdays.
    Aunt Barb and Uncle Larry

  7. Popped I forgot to mention a memory…you receiving your Eagle Scout Award…pretty special day! And,of course, your wedding day!

  8. All these things I know….favorite memory….too many to list….how about things thaat were only Tommy: of the 4 he was the only one who would wake me up to let me know he was home when he had been out with friends;

  9. Memory ..our families going camping. Many years of mummers day parade potlucks. Many funny shenanigans that you and JR and Eric could come up with on the bus rides to indoor competitions.

  10. WOW! I agree with Kelsey- Totally teared up reading this! Tommy you are an incredible example of a great husband, father, and friend! Ben and I appreciate all the talks and laughs we have shared together- You are so dedicated and we love that about you!!! You and Missy are such an inspiration to us! Have a Happy Birthday!

  11. yup. i’m a crier. what’s that? you’re surprised?! haha…riiight. I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. I know God has a dopple ganger out there for me that is a prime example of what a husband was made to be: that is Tom Tom. I love everything about your marriage, your friendship, your absolute love for your family. I will always have a special place in my heart for the *hand hand wave* leading up to the pick up hugs I always receive. They never get old. Hugs, not drugs. : ) love always, Auntie B

  12. I was so impressed this summer watching how Tom came home from work and knew exactly what to do when he walked in the door. I think it is his VMI “training” that has also helped Tom and Missy to rise to the enormous occasion of having triplets-plus-one and forming an absolute routine. I was concerned when Tom went to VMI because I was afraid they would break his spirit. He is a kind soul and I worried the pressures the students were forced to endure just would not be a good fit. But, by golly, he not only bore up under the pressure but seemed to embrace and “go” with it. His father and I watched a boy grow into a man before our very eyes. We also saw the love of his life, Missy, by his side the entire time. Tom loved VMI, appreciated the opportunity to go to this wonderful school and has made good use of his regimented training there. What sets him apart is that he uses it for good not only in his occupation but as a way of managing all his life situations. And he does it with great love and affection. Tom, you have made us very happy and proud and I hope your birthday was wonderful. Peg

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