Not Your Mother’s Christmas Party

Missy came home from Target last night with two bags full of Christmas themed paper plates, napkins, and flatware…and couldn’t help but notice the quizzical look I gave her as she began to unpack them.

“Yes, I know Christmas is over,” she began, as if she could read my mind. “These are for next year’s party.

“Oooh, gotcha…” I nodded politely.

“I also got this sweet Christmas slap bracelet on sale for fifty cents! See?”


I guess what I’m trying to say is that you know that it was a good party when you’re already planning for the next one eleven and a half months in advance.

Actually, it’s just that all the Christmas stuff is on clearance right now…but you know what I mean 😉

The premise of the party was simple: Tacky Sweater + White Elephant (Yankee Trader; Yankee Swap; etc.). Only, for starters…as host, I was determined to take it above and beyond your average tacky Christmas sweater and create an entire over the top ensemble, like such:

Outfit Anatomy

Anatomy of a Fabulous Christmas Outfit

  1. Slicked hair, with Side Part
  2. Dickey (cut from a Goodwill Turtleneck)
  3. Snowman Vest (Grandma Cindy’s)
  4. White Web Belt with Brass Belt Buckle (From my VMI days)
  5. Brass Bell Cufflinks (Christmas tree ornaments)
  6. Ill fitting, 100% Polyester Pants; Hunter Green (Goodwill purchase)
  7. Red Totes Brand Slippers (Old pair deep from within Missy’s sock drawer)

We shipped the girls off across the street for a sleepover with Aunt Shannon (however since Lola is still nursing, she spent the evening at the Florer Farm, but spent the night in a pack-n-play back in our room so that the noise from the party didn’t disturb her) as we prepared for guests to arrive, and by 7:30 the party was in full swing:

nate and shan

sweaters 03

sweaters 01

sweaters 04

sweaters 05

After an hour or two of socializing, the White Elephant gift exchange began, and as I’m sure you can imagine…hilarity ensued!

sweater 100


sweaters 07

pano 11

(You’ll want to click to enlarge that pano for the full effect!)

The most popular gift of the night was the two 2-1/2 lb. Reece’s Cups, but perhaps the most talked-about was a deck of “Sensual Massage On a String” cards (yes, that is a real thing) that Missy dug up from her bachelorette party. They were still factory sealed, but the eventual “winner” of the cards decided to unwrap them, only to reveal some very…shall we say…adult rated content 😯  Again, I’d like to apologize for those…despite the provocative cover, I swear we had no idea what was actually inside that box!

After more socializing, Missy brought out a white board easel, and a rousing game of Boys vs. Girls Pictionary began!

sweaters 08

If that’s what you want to call it. It was more like “Write-Some-Phrases-Down-on-Paper-and-See-How-Fast-the-Group-Can-Guess-Them.” However, it was way fun to see how some of the artists had rather interesting interpretations:

sweaters 09

sweaters 11

sweaters 10

If you guessed that those were:

A)  Rudolph
B)  Hipster
C)  Flamingo

Then good job outta you!

We tried to keep score…but by that point everyone was having too much of a  good time to care much about the rules. Sadly, things started wrapping up close to midnight…but not before the obligatory group shots. First the guys:

sweaters 02

And then the gals:

sweaters 12

And as for who had the best-worst Sweater/Outfit/Ensemble, well…I’ll just let you be the judge of that:

Needless to say that aside from walking around in my underwear, entertaining friends and family throughout the year (and especially this most wonderful time of the year) has to be one of the best things about having our own place. We had such a good time awesome time with some treuly awesome people; we sure hope everyone else who attended did as well! And yes, we ARE already planning for next year, so you better get started working on those outfits now!

Did you do an ugly sweater party this year? I’d love to hear about it!

(Oh, sorry for the mostly blurry phone pics!)

This entry was posted in Holiday by Tom Hardinge. Bookmark the permalink.

About Tom Hardinge

Loving husband to my wife Missy, loving father to my four daughters Sienna, Rowan, Jovie, and Lola. I'm a chronic over-packer who loves good coffee, good music, running, waffle tee's, fleece pants, and Jesus Christ!

Comment & Discuss

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s